Quiz: Are You in a Toxic Relationship?

Because sometimes love shouldn’t hurt this much, fam

Girl, let’s talk about something that’s harder to spot than a decent parking space at Target on a Saturday. You know that feeling when something’s off in your relationship, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? Like, maybe you’re walking on eggshells more than you’re walking on sunshine?

Look, toxic relationships are sneaky little devils. They don’t come with warning labels like “Caution: This person will slowly chip away at your self-esteem until you think wearing sweatpants to the grocery store is a fashion statement.” Nah, they creep up on you like calories from that “small” bag of chips you demolished while watching Netflix.

Here’s how this works:

• 15 questions that cut through the BS and get real about your situation
• Be brutally honest with yourself (I know, I know, easier said than done)
• Add up your points as you go – each answer has a number
• Check the results to see where you stand

Ready to dive into some uncomfortable truths? Let’s do this thing. 💪

💬 Question 1: How does your partner react when you have a different opinion?

a) They listen and we have actual conversations like grown adults (0 points)

b) Sometimes they get a little defensive but we work it out (1 point)

c) They dismiss my opinions or act like I’m being “too sensitive” (2 points)

d) Full meltdown mode – apparently having thoughts is a personal attack on them (3 points)

🎉 Question 2: When good things happen to you (promotion, compliment, etc.), your partner:

a) Gets genuinely excited and wants to celebrate with me (0 points)

b) Says congrats but doesn’t make a huge deal about it (1 point)

c) Makes it somehow about them or finds ways to downplay it (2 points)

d) Acts annoyed, jealous, or finds something wrong with my good news (3 points)

👥 Question 3: How do they act about your friendships and family?

a) They like my people and encourage me to spend time with them (0 points)

b) Pretty neutral – they’re not best friends but no drama (1 point)

c) They complain about my friends/family or make me feel guilty for seeing them (2 points)

d) Straight up try to isolate me – “your friends are toxic” (ironic much?) (3 points)

🗣️ Question 4: During arguments, your partner:

a) Stays focused on the actual issue and fights fair (0 points)

b) Sometimes gets heated but apologizes when they cross lines (1 point)

c) Brings up old stuff or hits below the belt regularly (2 points)

d) Goes nuclear – name calling, threats, or the silent treatment for days (3 points)

😰 Question 5: How often do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells?

a) Rarely – I can be myself without drama (0 points)

b) Occasionally when they’re stressed or in a bad mood (1 point)

c) Pretty often – I’m constantly monitoring their mood (2 points)

d) Daily life feels like defusing a bomb with oven mitts (3 points)

📱 Question 6: Your partner’s behavior around your phone, social media, and privacy:

a) They respect my privacy and trust me completely (0 points)

b) Sometimes curious but doesn’t demand access to everything (1 point)

c) Regularly checks my phone or gets suspicious about my online activity (2 points)

d) Full surveillance mode – I have zero privacy and it’s “for our relationship” (3 points)

💰 Question 7: When it comes to money and decisions, they:

a) We discuss big decisions together as equals (0 points)

b) Usually include me but sometimes make choices without asking (1 point)

c) Often make financial decisions without me or control the money (2 points)

d) Complete financial control – I can’t even buy coffee without permission (3 points)

😔 Question 8: How do you feel about yourself since being with them?

a) Pretty much the same, maybe even more confident (0 points)

b) Some ups and downs but generally okay (1 point)

c) I doubt myself more and feel less confident than before (2 points)

d) Who even am I anymore? My self-esteem is in the basement (3 points)

🎯 Question 9: Your goals, dreams, and interests:

a) They support my goals and encourage me to pursue my interests (0 points)

b) They’re supportive but not super involved (1 point)

c) They seem indifferent or sometimes discourage my goals (2 points)

d) They actively sabotage or mock my dreams and interests (3 points)

🔄 Question 10: After fights or bad behavior, your partner:

a) Genuinely apologizes and actually changes their behavior (0 points)

b) Usually apologizes but change is slow (1 point)

c) Apologizes but keeps doing the same stuff over and over (2 points)

d) Blames me for their behavior or gives fake apologies to shut me up (3 points)

🧠 Question 11: How often do you question your own reality or memory?

a) Hardly ever – I trust my own perceptions (0 points)

b) Sometimes during big disagreements (1 point)

c) Pretty regularly – I second-guess myself a lot (2 points)

d) Constantly – I don’t trust my own memory or feelings anymore (3 points)

😴 Question 12: Your stress levels and physical health since being together:

a) About the same, maybe better because I have support (0 points)

b) Normal relationship stress, nothing major (1 point)

c) More headaches, trouble sleeping, or feeling anxious (2 points)

d) Constant stress symptoms – my body is literally rebelling (3 points)

🏠 Question 13: In your relationship, you feel:

a) Safe, loved, and free to be myself (0 points)

b) Generally good with normal ups and downs (1 point)

c) Anxious, uncertain, or like I’m not good enough (2 points)

d) Trapped, scared, or completely exhausted (3 points)

🆘 Question 14: When you try to bring up relationship problems:

a) We can talk through issues and find solutions together (0 points)

b) Sometimes productive, sometimes we just agree to disagree (1 point)

c) They get defensive or turn it around to make me the problem (2 points)

d) Complete shutdown, gaslighting, or explosive anger (3 points)

💭 Question 15: If your best friend described their relationship the way you’d describe yours:

a) I’d be happy for them and think they found a good one (0 points)

b) I’d think it sounds pretty normal, nothing concerning (1 point)

c) I’d be worried and suggest they pay attention to some red flags (2 points)

d) I’d be planning an intervention and hiding their car keys (3 points)

🧮 Calculate Your Score

Time for some math that actually matters, babe. Add up all your points from the 15 questions. Your total should be somewhere between 0 and 45.

Got your number? Here’s what it means:

📊 Your Results

🟢 0-15 Points: You’re In Pretty Good Territory

Breathe easy, hun. Based on your answers, it looks like you’re in a relatively healthy relationship. Like, the kind where you can eat the last piece of pizza without fearing for your life.

Look, no relationship is perfect – we’re all just humans trying to figure out how to love each other without completely losing our minds in the process. What you’re describing sounds like normal relationship stuff. You know, the occasional disagreement about whether the toilet paper should hang over or under (it’s over, fight me), or whose turn it is to take out the trash.

Sure, there might be some minor issues here and there, but that’s just life, right? The important thing is that you feel respected, supported, and free to be your authentic, slightly chaotic self. You can voice your opinions without getting the silent treatment, and your partner doesn’t make you feel like you need a permission slip to hang out with your friends.

Keep an eye on things though, because relationships are like houseplants – they need attention and care to stay healthy. If something starts feeling off, trust that instinct. You know yourself better than anyone, and if your gut is sending up flares, listen to it.

🟡 16-30 Points: Some Yellow Flags Need Your Attention

Okay, so we’re in the “hmm, that’s not quite right” zone. And honestly? I’m glad you’re here taking this quiz because it means you’re paying attention to how you feel in your relationship, which is more than a lot of people do.

Here’s the thing – you’re describing some patterns that aren’t super healthy, but they’re not necessarily deal-breakers either. Think of it like when your car starts making that weird noise. You know, the one where you turn up the radio and pretend it’s not happening? Yeah, that’s where we are right now.

Maybe your partner gets a little too jealous when you talk to other people, or they have a habit of making you feel bad about things that make you happy. Maybe they’re not great at handling conflict, or they make you question yourself more than you’d like to admit.

The good news? Recognizing these patterns is the first step. Some of this stuff can absolutely be worked on if both people are willing to put in the effort. The key word here is “both” – it can’t just be you doing all the emotional heavy lifting while they sit there like a bump on a log.

But here’s what I want you to remember: You deserve to feel good in your relationship. Not just okay, not just “well, it could be worse,” but actually good. If you’re constantly making excuses for their behavior or walking on eggshells, that’s not normal wear and tear – that’s a problem.

Consider having some real conversations about what needs to change. And if they’re not willing to work on things? Well, that tells you something important too.

🔴 31-45 Points: Girl, This Is Not Okay

I’m gonna be straight with you because you deserve honesty, not sugar-coating. What you’re describing isn’t just “relationship problems” – these are serious red flags that are basically doing the cha-cha in front of your face.

The constant walking on eggshells, the way they make you question your own reality, the isolation from friends and family, the control over your life – none of that is normal relationship stuff. That’s toxic behavior, and it’s probably been happening so gradually that you’ve gotten used to it, like that frog in the slowly boiling water story.

Here’s what I need you to understand: This isn’t your fault. Toxic people are like emotional magicians – they’re really good at making you think you’re the problem. They’ll convince you that you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting” or that you’re the one causing all the drama. But girl, that’s manipulation 101.

Your friends aren’t “trying to break you up” when they express concern. Your family isn’t “interfering” when they point out changes in you. These people love you and they’re seeing things that worry them.

What you need to do: Start by trusting yourself again. Your feelings are valid. Your concerns are real. You’re not crazy, dramatic, or asking for too much when you want to be treated with basic respect and kindness.

Consider reaching out to people you trust – friends, family, or even a counselor who specializes in relationships. There are also resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) where you can talk to someone confidentially about your situation.

Most importantly: You deserve so much better than this. You deserve a relationship where you feel safe, valued, and free to be yourself. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise, especially not the person who’s supposed to love you most.

💝 A Final Word (Because You’re Worth It)

Taking this quiz took guts, and I want you to know that. Whether your results were comforting or concerning, the fact that you’re asking these questions means you’re paying attention to your own well-being, and that’s honestly beautiful.

Here’s what I want you to remember: Love shouldn’t make you smaller. It shouldn’t make you question your own sanity or walk on eggshells in your own life. Real love – the good stuff – makes you feel more like yourself, not less.

If your results were in the green zone, keep nurturing that healthy dynamic you’ve got going. If you’re in the yellow zone, use this as a wake-up call to address some issues before they get worse. And if you’re in the red zone? Please know that you’re not alone, and there are people who want to help you figure out your next steps.

Whatever your score, trust yourself. Your feelings matter. Your happiness matters. You matter.

And remember – relationships are supposed to add joy to your life, not drain it like a vampire with commitment issues. You deserve someone who celebrates your wins, supports your dreams, and makes you feel like the amazing person you are.

You’ve got this, fam. And you’re worth fighting for. 💪✨