How to Make Your Husband Your Best Friend Again
Recall when your husband was that guy you’d text at 2 AM about random shower thoughts, and he’d actually respond with something hilarious? Yeah, me too. Somewhere between arguing about whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher and discussing mortgage rates, that friendship got buried under a mountain of adulting responsibilities. But here’s the thing – that best friend version of him is still in there, probably wondering where his favorite person went too. So how do you dig him back out?
Rediscover What Made You Friends in the First Place
When you first met your husband, you probably didn’t fall in love with his ability to leave dirty socks everywhere or his talent for selective hearing during football season. Nope, you fell for something deeper – maybe his laugh that made your stomach flip, or how he’d text you random thoughts at 2 AM.
Think back to those early days when you’d talk for hours about everything and nothing. What made you click? Was it your shared obsession with true crime podcasts? His terrible dad jokes that somehow cracked you up? The way he recalled your coffee order after one date?
Write these memories down. Seriously, grab a notebook. Sometimes rediscovering your friendship starts with recalling why you became friends in the first place.
Create Regular One-on-One Time Without Distractions
The biggest friendship killer in marriage? Zero alone time together. I’m talking about real one-on-one moments, not scrolling through your phones while Netflix plays in the background. You need to protect your couple time like it’s sacred, because honestly? It is.
Start small but be consistent. Maybe it’s coffee together every Saturday morning before the fam wakes up. Or a twenty-minute walk after dinner, phones left at home. When my friend Sarah started doing “porch talks” with her husband every evening, she said it felt awkward at first – like, what do we even talk about? But within weeks, they were laughing again, sharing dreams, being actual friends.
The key is removing distractions completely. No kids, no devices, no interruptions. Just you two, reconnecting.
Bring Back Playfulness and Shared Laughter
Recollect those early days when you’d crack each other up over the stupidest things? That ridiculous voice he’d do when ordering pizza, or how you’d both lose it watching him try to fold fitted sheets? Yeah, those moments built your bond stronger than any deep conversation ever could.
Time to get that energy back, girl. Start small – text him a funny meme during his lunch break, or do that goofy dance that always made him smile. Reminisce your inside jokes? Use them! Create new ones by being silly together while cooking dinner or watching Netflix.
And here’s the thing: laughter releases the same feel-good chemicals as physical touch. So when you’re giggling together over your dog’s latest shenanigans, you’re literally rewiring your connection. Pretty amazing, right?
Practice Active Listening and Genuine Curiosity
Since you’ve been living together for years, you probably think you know everything about your husband – but honestly, you’re probably only scratching the surface. Men are like icebergs, and we’ve been sailing past the tip forever.
Start asking him questions you’ve never asked before. What’s his biggest fear? His weirdest childhood memory? When he talks about work drama, don’t just nod while mentally planning dinner – actually listen. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and ask follow-up questions.
I used to zone out when my husband discussed his projects, but when I started genuinely caring about his passion for woodworking, our conversations became electric. He’d light up explaining techniques, and I discovered this whole brilliant side of him I’d been missing for years.
Share Your Inner World Beyond Daily Logistics
But here’s the thing – your husband fell in love with your thoughts, dreams, and quirky observations, not your ability to coordinate carpool schedules.
Start small. Share what made you smile today, or that random childhood memory that popped up. Tell him about the book you’re reading, your secret fears about your mom’s health, or why that song on the radio made you tear up.
And yeah, it might feel weird at first, but vulnerability is friendship fuel.
Support Each Other’s Individual Growth and Interests
When you first started dating, you probably thought his obsession with fantasy football was endearing, and he found your weekly pottery class “so creative.” Fast forward ten years, and suddenly his Sunday draft feels like abandonment, while your art supplies scattered across the dining table spark passive-aggressive sighs.
Start celebrating his wins again, whether it’s his beer brewing experiment or that cycling group he joined. And ask him to do the same for your book club or yoga teacher training.
When you actively support each other’s individual passions, you’re basically saying, “I love who you’re becoming,” not just “I love who you were when we met.”
Build New Memories and Experiences Together
Recollect that shoe box stuffed with concert tickets, restaurant napkins, and blurry photos from your early dating days? Time to create a new collection, hun. You can’t build friendship on old memories alone – you need fresh adventures together.
Here’s how to shake things up:
- Try a cooking class where you’ll probably burn something and laugh about it
- Plan weekend getaways to places neither of you has been
- Start a hobby together, like hiking or painting (even if you’re terrible)
- Create date nights with zero phones allowed
- Take turns surprising each other with new experiences
Stop waiting for spontaneity to magically happen. Best friends make memories intentionally. Whether it’s getting lost on a road trip or attempting salsa dancing, these shared moments become the foundation of your renewed friendship.
Show Appreciation for Who He Is as a Person
Why do we stop seeing our partners for who they really are? Marriage has this sneaky way of turning your best friend into “the guy who leaves dishes in the sink.” But here’s the thing – he’s still that same person you fell for, just buried under years of routine and crickets-level conversations.
Start noticing his unique quirks again. Does he still make that weird face when he’s concentrating? Tell him it’s adorable. When he helps your fam without being asked, acknowledge it. “You’re such a good man” hits different than “thanks for helping.”
Stop focusing on what he’s not doing and celebrate who he actually is. His dry humor, his loyalty, his way of making you laugh when you’re stressed – these aren’t small things.
Conclusion
You’ve got this, friend. Your husband isn’t some stranger who wandered into your life, he’s the guy you chose to build something beautiful with. And honestly? That spark you’re missing isn’t gone forever, it’s just buried under laundry piles and work stress. So start tonight, pick one thing from this list, and watch how quickly you can turn your roommate back into your best friend again.
